


side effects of pretending to be in love

by themadtilde



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Divergence, Fake Dating, Fluff, M/M, Sort of AU, first kiss and first dates and all that, li'l bit of pining, pretending to be in love, simon is as clueless as always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6417433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadtilde/pseuds/themadtilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” said Raphael, slowly unfolding his hands form where they were placed on the desk before him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	side effects of pretending to be in love

**Author's Note:**

> Heyya!  
> I've mixed American and British English here, sorry for that. I try to stick to American english but I use the word 'couch' which is British or smth like that. And I don't know when to use 'c', 'z' or 's' so yeah ... I try to edit my stories but I might've missed a word here and there  
> Unbeta'd.  
> I do not own the characters.  
> Timeline - none. Literally, I just started writing it.

“I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” said Raphael, slowly unfolding his hands form where they were placed on the desk before him.

Of all the things Raphael could’ve asked him, Simon could never even have guessed this.

“Er …” was all he said, because he knew he should come with an answer but just … wait a minute. What?

“What?”

Simon stared dumbfounded at Raphael, who lounged lazily in an office chair. The vampire presented the offer like it was no big deal, but Simon could tell he chose his words carefully.

“I don’t want any questions. I just need you to act as my boyfriend on a few … occasions.”

“Why? What do you mean by ‘occasions’? Why don’t you ask Lily, or some other vampire?”

“Lily,” Raphael stressed, “is already well-known among the vampires. You’re the only option.”

“But-”

“I said; no questions,” Raphael cut off, and stood up. Simon tugged nervously in his collar when Raphael’s dark eyes swept over him.

“Will you do it, or not?”

 _You need to win some time,_ Simon’s brain told him.

_Good idea, brain._

“I … why me? I know you’re not so fond of Shadowhunters, or werewolves, but Clary and Isabelle are nice. Not that I think they would … you know, Just … majority. You can ask someone else.”

“It’s called ‘putting up a show’. We’re not going to date in real life, as you’re clearly so opposed against the idea of that.” Raphael’s tone was cool and sour, but there was this tiny glimpse of hurt in his eyes at Simon’s reaction.

However, Simon being Simon, didn’t notice this, but he did try to apologize.

“I mean … no, not that I think it would be horrible to date you. It’s not that … you don’t look good. I mean, you do look good. Like, dude-good. Manly good. Nice hair and … I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Raphael nodded and rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop himself from feeling amused by Simon’s ranting.

“Just shut up, _idota_ , and tell me if you will do it or not.”

_This is a crazy idea. Pretending to date Raphael, your frenemy, who even turned you into a vampire?_

_Simon, say no._

“Yes, okay then.”

_Simon for fuck's sake._

* * *

The first time they really had to act as boyfriends, was on a party. Simon felt like a nervous wreck, but Raphael remained calm and collected. The boyfriend-thing didn’t seem to disturb him at all. Not that Simon really minded pretending with Raphael, but it still felt strange to think of the other vampire as ‘boyfriend’. _Not that he really is, Simon reminded himself._

Before entering the party, Raphael stopped to fix Simon’s tie. He jerked roughly in the collar, and for a moment, his cool slender fingers brushed over Simon’s collarbone. Simon couldn’t help but shudder - Raphael had the same body temperature as him, but he still decided to blame it on his chilly fingers.

A lady in her twenties opened the door, immediately demanding their names.

“My name is Raphael Santiago,” said Raphael politely, shaking hands with the woman.

“And this is my boyfriend, Simon Lewis.” He reached out and slithered his arm around Simon’s waist, pulling the boy closer in something that was supposed to resemble a romantic gesture. Simon tried to smile and play along, especially since Raphael’s steady look didn’t waver. The woman didn’t seem to really care, as she let them inside and Raphael kept his arm around Simon’s waist the entire time.

 _This is how it’s going to be from now on,_ Simon told himself. _Just pretend that you’re in love with Raphael, and everything will be fine._

“Dance with me,” Raphael suddenly hissed, jerking Simon back into reality.

“What?”

“Dance, with, me” Raphael drawled. “Now!”

“But I don’t know how to dance!” Simon protested as Raphael dragged him out on the floor among several other vampire couples.

“Neither do I. Just put your hand on my waist, and try to do as I do.”

 

Afterwards, both Simon and Raphael can agree on that Simon’s a shit dancer, but Simon can’t deny that he liked dancing with Raphael.

Side effects of pretending to be in love.

* * *

“So,” said Clary, reaching for the sugar and pouring it into her latte. “How’s the dating with Raphael going?”

She grinned at Simon, who stared back at her. They sat in a café. three weeks after Simon’s and Raphael’s deal.

“It’s fine,” he replied and shrugged, giving the coffee a longing look. Clary raised her eyebrows, grabbed a spoon and started to stir in her mug.

“What?” said Simon, when Clary continued grinning at him. Her eyebrows nearly disappeared in her hairline.

“Have you kissed yet?” she asked, and Simon flew up from his position of almost sliding off his chair.

“Excuse me?” he exclaimed, drawing the attention of the family closest to them. However, when he glared at them, they quickly looked away and continued with their own conversation.

Clary punched him playfully on the arm. “Don’t even try to look surprised!” she said, and started laughing when Simon only gave her a confused look.

“You know we’re only fake dating, right?” said Simon slowly. Clary snorted then, and leant back in her chair.

“You know I’m not blind, right?” she replied. "I wouldn't exactly call that fake dating."

Simon frowned. “What?”

“Oh come on Simon, you’ve went on four dates - two of them even forced you to cancel plans with me. Don’t apologize,” she added quickly when Simon looked guilty, “it doesn’t matter. It’s just … for being in a fake relationship, you sure as hell look convincing.”

Upon seeing Simon’s still confused look, Clary sighed.

“What I’m trying to say is … maybe Raphael wasn’t totally honest when he wanted to fake date you.”

“What? Why would he do that? I’m sure he had a perfect reason.”

“Ugh! No, I’m sure he does have one. Just … why did he need you for boyfriend? Why didn’t he ask Lily, as a _girl_ friend, to do it? Or another vampire?”

Simon took her mug and tried to take a sip.

“I already asked him that,” he said and grimaced at the bitter taste. One of the downsides of being a vampire - he couldn’t drink coffee. The only drink that applied to him was blood.

“He needed someone new, someone who wouldn’t be recognized. So I was the only option.” He shrugged, and sighed when Clary didn’t stopped smirking. “What now?”

“I’m just saying … it seems a bit odd to me. Raphael hates asking for help.”

“Yeah, which means he really is in a needy situation.”

“Really, Simon? Really? You’re just refusing to see the truth. You’re hiding behind easy lies.” Clary waggled her spoon at him. Simon sighed and gave her back her coffee. “Clary, what are you trying to say?”

“You’re seriously this dense?” Clary groaned.

Simon crossed his arms and glared. “Yes I am, so excuse me and please explain.”

Clary began to grin again, that kind of grin you always made when you were about to reveal a huge secret to someone.

“I think Raphael has a little bit of crush on you.”

* * *

“Hey, Raph?”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“Raphie, then?”

Raphael crossed his arms.

“No.”

“Fine,” Simon rolled his eyes. “But what if I call you boyfriend instead, then?” He watched his face closely.

Raphael blinked. “We’re already fake dating.”

Raking a hand through his hair, Simon tried to explain. “No, I didn’t mean like that. I meant … I wondered if you’d like to … date for real, you know?”

Raphael unfolded his arms. “You do know we’re only pretending, right?” he said slowly. Simon made a frustrated noise. “I know! And I’d much rather prefer if we didn’t … pretend or act … I’d like it if we ....”

“... actually started dating for real?” Raphael raised his eyebrows.

Simon made a weak “yeah,” and scratched his neck. Had blood still been pumping through his veins, he would’ve blushed.

Raphael shrugged. “Sure,” he said and started walking again.

Simon’s mouth dropped open and he stared after Raphael, who walked down the abandoned street calmly.

“Hey - what? Raphael, what?” He sprinted up next to him, giving him a confused look. “Did you just say yes to date me?”

“Yeah,” said Raphael, shrugging again. “Why not?”

“Why not? Why _yes_ ? I thought you didn’t like me.” _I think Raphael has a little bit of a crush on you,_ sang Clary in his head. Simon gritted his teeth and politely asked his fantasy-Clary to shut up.

“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t have asked _you_ to be my fake boyfriend,” snorted Raphael as if that was obvious. Simon dropped his jaw.

“What! You said I was the only option! That that was why you chose me?!” he shouted.

“Clearly, I lied. I could’ve asked anybody. Literally,” said Raphael easily, as if they discussed the weather. Simon shook his head.

“So you just wanted to date me because … you had a crush on me?”

Raphael winced. “I did not have a crush on you.”

Simon started to grin. “Oh, but you so did! You had an actual crush on me! And you even asked me to _fake_ date you! Are you masochistic or something?”

“No, but I have a sense for when people dislike or like me. I thought we were on pretty good terms, but not like that,” Raphael huffed.

“Clearly, you misjudged me. I actually asked _you_ out instead.”

Sighing, Raphael pursed his lips. “Yeah, you did,” he muttered. “Just shut up, please?”

“Okay then. But you know what?”

The dark-haired vampire made an irritated noise. “What?”

“I indicated our confessions and therefore made us boyfriends. You have to indicate the kiss then.”

“The kiss?” Raphael raised his eyebrows. Simon made a vague gesture with his hand. “Yeah you know, the kiss. Like every couple does. Bella and Edward. Tris and Four, you know? Anna and Kristoff. In the movies.”

“Dios, you’re _such_ a nerd,” Raphael sighed. But he reached out and cupped Simon’s backhead with his hand and pulled him forwards, thus …

“Hmm,” mumbled Simon with his lips still against Raphael’s. “Interesting.”

“What’s interesting?” muttered Raphael, lips moving against Simon’s.

“Nothing,” replied Simon, voice muffled by Raphael’s mouth. “Just … we went from _pretending_ to be in love, to actually being in love.”

Raphael shrugged and pulled back.

"Well," he said, "there are side effects of pretending to be in love, I guess."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the ending. I rewrote it 3 times! I still have the scrapped parts left, and all of them are completely different. I just couldn't write something that fitted.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading.  
> If you like my writing, check out my other Saphael and Malec fics :)


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